SUZIE SEAWORTHY’S CRUISING PEOPLE’S VOTE

One of the first things you learn as a sailor is that you don’t get far with no wind in your sails trying to run head-on into a spring tide. Seems like that’s the last thing you learn as a Prime Minister. My cat Mrs. Nelson’s got more chance of purring into the ear of that Michel Barnstormer and talking him into doing the Hokey Cokey, turning around and changing course.

WE NEED CAPTAIN SENSIBLE STEERING THE SHIP

The fact is that our nation has a great nautical heritage and time and again it has been seafaring folk that have pulled her out of the doo-doo when it all seemed to be going down the heads. So my heads-up on the situation is this – let cruising folk, those most level headed of Brits, decide!’ A sensible idea I’m sure you’ll agree and what could be fairer?

YOUR VOTE COUNTS

So here’s my plan. Those good folk at Seafarer World HQ (strange that it’s just off the North Circular, but needs must I suppose) have agreed to put together a completely anonymous online poll. All you have to do is cast your vote, they’ll give me the results and I’ll pop down to Chequers and tell the PM what to do about it all over an elderflower G&T or two.

IN, OUT, OR SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT

IN – if you voted today you’d vote to remain.

OUT – if you voted today you’d vote for a hard and fast Brexit, let’s stop fannying around, bite the bullet, stop talking, cut to the chase, make no bones about it and get the deed done.

SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT – this is a fluffy sort of middle category for those who think we should get out but want the feeling that they’re still in. A sort of ‘Marie Antoinette vote’ of keep your hands off our Bath Buns but let us eat your cake too. Personally, I’m very partial to a nice slice of Battenburg.

There’s one more question and that’s asking you if, knowing what you know now about the mythical tales told from the NHS Battle Bus, or for any other reason, you have changed your mind since the original plebiscite. Hokey Cokey?

YOU’LL BE SECOND TO KNOW

Rest assured, once I’ve put the PM straight about your views, you’ll be next to know the result.

Anchors aweigh,

Suzie Seaworthy